Cirque du Soleil - Amaluna

12/18/13

All men should wear thongs, especially if they have big, hard, long tails. The Lizard-Man performing at Amaluna's Cirque performance started off the night stealing popcorn from the crowd and dumping it on the heads of other guests. It was hilarious. Made even funnier by his thong and tail costume.

Our $100 (each) seats were about 4 rows behind the ones for $160, and I thought ours were better. The seating was one of the best things about the night: there was not a bad seat in the house, and the center stage rotated so that you often could see a performer from more than one angle, even if they were holding a position perfectly still.

The very beginning (first 30 minutes) there were some amazing performances using one body to toss another (somersault) using just hands and feet, the kind of thing that's great at Cirque. After that the best part of the show was the music. The all-female band was powerful. The musicians were wild to watch and the singer's strong voice was actually quite moving. It was pretty incredible, all night long.

Then there were scenes of clowns just mumbling and attempting humor. These filler scenes were very dissatisfying. While they applied to the story-line, it's unfair to add that much talk-time in to the "performance".

A hula-hoop chick came out and impressed me with her multi-hooping skills, but without trying to be a hoop snob, I've seen better hoopers at Burning Man, and theirs are on fire. Fuego, b*itches!

So then there's a girl in a white bikini in a pool. I think all the girls should've been wearing bikinis. Perhaps if they were all scantily clad I would have been slightly more interested in their dancing. It was a lot of just dancing all night. If youre going to dance, take it off ladies! (and men too!!) The pool thing was shallow so it was neat that she could stand and the edge and dive in right up against the glass. I couldn't do it, but I have seen Le Rêve in Vegas (similar to Cirque) and they were diving from the ceiling into shallow pools, so nothing about this girl had me going. Except the wet white bikini.

Then there's a huge intermission where you can buy over-priced food. I snuck in a giant bag of amazing popcorn I made at home. I wasn't going to pay $8! And it gave me a reason to use a big purse I'd never used. I brought my refillable water bottle and there was a free water station (cold and hot) which was awesome. Bathrooms outside were portable but clean and had a nice handwashing station. But the intermission was waaaaay too long. We had time to photobomb at LEAST five couples.

So then the "show" continues. In my head after every scene I'm hoping I can clap; that we've reached the finale. A teeter totter that bounced men high enough to do aerial somersaults came out. But I've been on the teeter totter of death (also at Burning Man). Again, not impressed. The 15 minute, silent balancing act that followed was also very, very slow. Several loud sighs were let out around us. I wanted to "accidentally" drop my metal water thing. Casey asked if he could screen "BOO" and get us kicked out. Gymnastic bars with no real acrobatic or team flips followed. It was stuff I did on the playground in junior high. Well, not going back and forth between bars, but I actually saw Casey land a flip off a similar bar at playground not long ago. He should do this show - he'd at least add some personality.

My thonged lizard-man came out again at the end, this time without his tail. Full, unobstructed thong shot. He did some juggling and then it was pretty much over. He had to thrust around a bit while he juggled. Thrust, thrust, yum. Quite a bit more entertaining than the current, controversial Joe Boxer commercial.

A few weeks ago I yelled at my husband for never planning dates. So he planned this. So $200 for tickets and $25 for parking and $5 for Bridge, this is what I got. I will now resume date-planning for us and he's off the hook. I believe our next Cirque date will be saved for a Vegas trip.